Hey Friends, it’s been a LONG time since I’ve written on this blog…. too long really. I love to write and sometimes it can be so cathartic to get some thoughts down on paper/screen? With the recent arrival of our son, my hands (and heart!) have been full which may be the understatement of the century….
But one thing I keep thinking about is people’s perception of motherhood based on what we see everyday through social media.
I hate to break it to you…. but….
It’s all a load of bologna.
Well maybe not all of it… but enough to make you second guess yourself and make unfair comparisons and judgments!
I have to admit that, I too, am guilty of posting only pictures that paint myself and my family in the most positive and perfect light imaginable. It can be so easy to fall into that trap and go searching for “likes.” But I’m here to tell you, there is A LOT that you don’t see and that we, as parents, don’t tell even those closest to us.
Every pictures holds a secret, take for instance this one:
This picture looks nice enough, I’m without makeup and my double chin is somewhat prominent but I’m lovingly adoring our handsome little boy. Yes, that part is VERY true.
But, what you don’t see:
- Our kid sometimes sleeps. Sometimes. Chances are very good that it took my husband and I two hours to get him to just go to bed through every means necessary: ie singing, rocking, swaddling, vacuuming, driving, walking, bouncing, blow drier, swinging, cuddling, and a vast array of other techniques.
- Once he does go to sleep at night, chances are even better that he wakes up either every hour or two. YAY!
- Oh look, the sun is out! And…. NOW… he sleeps. Story of my life. And chances are pretty good that if he just fell asleep like this in the morning sunlight, our 2-1/2 year old daughter is probably up and ready to go. So kiss going back to sleep goodbye 😦
- Honestly, there are days when I feel like I’ve neglected our toddler. Sometimes she wakes up and plays in her room for longer than I’d like because the new baby needs our attention, this makes me feel awful but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. At the end of the day I have faith that our daughter knows we love her more than life itself and that we are there for her even when we can’t always be right there for her… Having two kids is HARD!
- Chances are very good that I won’t have time to shower without a baby crying through the whole thing, and shaving my legs – HA! Yeah right. In this photo we were in full on newborn survival mode. That means uninterrupted showers are a luxury, sleep is a blessing and shaving your legs is something you do in emergency situations only – like when making an unexpected trip to the pool or going for a MUCH needed pedicure (in that case I’m going to shave up to my knees only, because I’m too busy to care! HA) You’ve got to make the most out of your shower time and unfortunately washing hair takes priority!
Breastfeeding is NOT easy. It hurts, a lot, at first. And sometimes babies don’t want to do it like our firstborn, latching properly is something that has to be taught and learned, not all babies are born ready to go… And if you’re struggling, you’re not alone. I can tell you from experience that I shed a lot of tears trying to get our daughter to eat properly. It is not your fault and it was not my fault…amazing what a couple years will do for your clarity! Luckily (and by no action of my own) our son is a much better eater, must be a boy thing! HAHA
Oh! And once you do get the hang of it, you leak. Like A LOT. You probably can’t see it in the photo above but chances are very good that I probably have a wet spot the size of Texas on my shirt.
Oh yeah, like this:
Anyways, just wanted to take a second to remind the new moms out there, you are not alone even though sometimes it can definitely feel like it.
Everything is not perfect and that’s okay!!!!
The biggest thing I learned from our first born is that this too shall pass, every hardship does indeed come to an end.
I’m absolutely no expert but I assure you, eventually your kid WILL sleep!
Eventually you’ll be able to get ready again without interruptions and heck, maybe even shave your legs?!?
Eventually you’ll look back at your sleep deprived, milk covered, breastfeeding days and actually….miss them…
Or at least forget about them enough to do it all over again like us!
In the meantime, take the pictures you see floating around at face value, realize that there is more going on than what you’re seeing at the surface. Everyone goes through learning curves and some things are truly, 100% out of your hands.
But most importantly pat yourself on the back for being awesome!
Happy parenting, and remember, you’re doing great!!!!!!
Hang in their mama 🙂